First Name Basis
by Darkfangz13
Summary: Ariadne is bored, so who does she look to for entertainment? Eames and Arthur, of course! Who else?


First Name Basis

Ariadne crossed her arms and pouted. She loved her job, that was obvious, but sometimes she got bored of staring at mazes for too long. Luckily, there was always one source of entertainment for her. "So," she leaned in her chair toward Eames. "what were you two like when you first met?" she asked, gesturing toward Arthur, who was deep in debate with Cobb about something.

Eames sighed. "As much as I love you, Ariadne, I'm afraid you'll have to ask Arthur for that information. I'm not sure what parts I'm allowed to tell, and which parts are less than appropriate."

Ariadne huffed, crossing her arms. "Maybe I'll ask Cobb, then?" Cobb, Eames had to feel strongly for the man. Everybody was using his name as a threat against each other so much that they had began calling the situation 'using the Cobb card'.

"Arthur's with him, why not just ask them both at the same time?" Yusuf suggested, hoping that the situation would die down quickly. Ever since Eames and Arthur had come out and announced their... _involvement_, they had decided that domestic debates and problems didn't need to be solved behind closed doors. It was sort of like watching bad telly with good humor, daily. But, bad telly was _bad_, and it was worse if it was real and you knew both characters.

Unfortunately, Ariadne actually liked bad telly. She jumped up and skipped over to Cobb's desk just as Arthur was saying something like 'No, not happening, Cobb. The world doesn't work that way.' Ariadne cleared her throat to get their attention.

"Can I help you, Ariadne?" Cobb asked, looking up to see her. Arthur bit his lip to keep himself from ignoring Ariadne and explaining just why 'the world doesn't work that way' to Cobb.

"Are you busy?" Ariadne asked innocently, knowing clearly that she had interrupted something important.

Cobb looked from Arthur, to Ariadne. "No," he lied, "what's on your mind?" Arthur looked just moments away from making a face, but, being the gentleman that he was, put his notes away in favor of giving his attention to Ariadne.

Now, how to pop the question? "Ariadne is curious to know how we first met, darling!" Eames called over from his desk. Ariadne sent him a grateful look.

Arthur and Cobb shared a look. "Story time?" Cobb grinned at Arthur. Arthur closed his eyes and let out a low groan of despair.

* * *

><p>Exact year edited out by Arthur for securities sake, but, 'Some years earlier...'<p>

"Arthur!" Mal's sing-song voice wafted through the Cobb family house. "Arthur, dear! Where are you?" Mal glided gracefully across the sitting room in search of the pointman. Then she heard Arthur's car pull up outside and moved to open the front door.

"I'm coming Mal! Just a moment!" She heard Arthur yell from outside. How he had heard her from that distance was a mystery. She opened the front door just as Arthur was reaching for the knob from the other side of the door.

"Whoops!" Mal giggled when the flushed pointman missed the doorknob, stumbling a little. "Sorry, Arthur."

"Don't worry about it." Arthur smiled back. Nobody could stay mad at Mal for long. He righted himself and adjusted his grip on his files. "I did my research. Is Cobb in? He might want a look at these." Mal smiled affectionately at Arthur and led him into the sitting room.

"So this is Arthur!" Arthur blinked, jumping in surprise at the bold voice. _Nobody_ who frequented the Cobb house had loud voices.

He found a strange man sitting in the sitting room, but really, where else would he be sitting? The man wore tan trousers and a salmon dress shirt, his jacket was draped carelessly over the back of his seat, he looked like he could use a good shave, and he was smiling at Arthur charmingly.

Arthur immediately decided that he didn't like this man.

He turned to Mal for an explanation. "Who is this person?" he asked as politely as possible.

Eames drifted smoothly out of his seat like a lazy panther and approached Arthur. "'This person' would have the name Eames." he introduced himself, suddenly stepping into Arthur's personal space, gripping Arthur's shoulders, and planting firm kisses on both Arthur's cheeks as a greeting.

Cobb winced and dropped his head into his hand in despair at the action. Mal just looked mildly amused. Arthur was frozen stiff from the shock. Then his brain jerked into motion once again. '_Nobody,'_ he thought, narrowing his eyes, _'other than Mal, get's into my personal space.' _His first reaction was to clock Eames square in the jaw, knocking him flat on the floor.

"Arthur..." Cobb sighed, watching the shock seep out of Eames's expression as the man gingerly rubbed his jaw.

"Oh, come on, Dom!" Mal giggled, peals of unrestrained glee drifting into the air. "You can't blame Arthur, Eames had it coming."

"Arthur, huh?" Eames winced at the pain that reduced from speaking. "Charming, lovely, well done!" he grunted sarcastically, pushing himself to his feet, groaning all the while.

"Arthur, this is Eames, he's a forger." Cobb decided to continue the introductions before any sort of arguement could continue. "Eames, Arthur, our pointman."

"Really? If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought he was hired muscle!" Eames exclaimed, still nursing his jaw.

"The forger you said you'd hire, ... him! You're serious about this?" Arthur asked Cobb, half-incredulous.

"Hurts, darling." Eames pouted.

"Physically and emotionally." Mal chimed in cheerfully.

"What did he just call me?" Arthur questioned in horror. Cobb just buried his face in his hands, trying desperately to drown out the noise in the sitting room.

* * *

><p>Present...<p>

"And that was the first time we met." Arthur finished his story. "Funny thing is, I was still shorter than him at that time." Cobb was trying to hold back a reminiscent chuckle, and was failing badly. Eames was pouting, absently rubbing along his jawline.

Ariadne was giggling in delight. "I could imagine it being something like that."

"But, really," Yusuf commented in exasperation. "do you really flirt with everybody you meet?" Eames ignored the rhetorical question.

Arthur leaned toward Cobb. "Try and guess his who his childhood hero was." Eames perked up worriedly at the mention of 'childhood' but nobody else paid any mind.

"Um, Captain Jack Harkness?" At Arthur's bright smile, Cobb could tell that his answer was correct. "That explains so much."

"Enough about that incident!" Eames wailed. "Alright, I've had my turn at being poked fun at! Let's have Arthur's humiliation next!"

Arthur rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Eames, you don't have anything humiliating on me." he said confidentially.

Eames looked positively evil. "Oh...?"

* * *

><p>Again, an unspecified number of years earlier...<p>

"What the Hell!" Arthur shouted through the hail of gunshots as he ducked behind a crate.

"Sorry darling, didn't catch that, what?" Eames shouted back, covering his ears.

"How the Hell did the authorities find us!" Cobb barked, that, Eames heard.

"Authorities would be holding fire and shouting things like 'you're under arrest!' or 'get your hands where we could see them!'" Arthur shouted. "Does that sound like the authorities!"

"We can panick about that later! How are we getting out of here?" Mal screamed over the noise.

The three men looked at her, then at each other. "Get her out of here!" Arthur shouted at Cobb. "Eames, we're the decoy!"

Eames groaned and moved into a position to run. "I'll cover you!" Arthur shouted, pulling a gun out from the waistband of his pants. That was the first time Eames saw Arthur with a gun... in reality.

"Really, darling? One handgun against, what, five automatics?" Eames stopped himself at Arthur's look. "Well, good luck with that, anyway." And he was off, zig-zagging away, distracting their opponents enough to let Cobb and Mal sneak off.

Arthur growled and threw his gun aside once his clip was empty. Of all the days he didn't bring his spare magazines! "Note to self;" he grunted. "don't leave your bullets at home!"

Arthur was well versed in the art of self defense, he was confident that he could handle himself, but against so many armed opponents? He gritted his teeth and braced himself. He was going to have to risk it. He popped up from behind his cover and threw himself over the crate to kick the nearest soldier. "I'll be taking that." Arthur smirked, grabbing the man's rifle.

He had only managed to bring the weapon to his right shoulder before he took a round to his left from a soldier situated on the warehouse's second floor and crashed to the ground, immediately losing consciousness.

* * *

><p>By the time he woke up, he was bundled up in the back of Cobb's getaway vehicle and Mal was pressing a hand against his open wound. "Hang in there, darling." he could barely hear Eames cooing comfortingly to him. "Hold still Arthur."<p>

Arthur gaped at him, then ground out a low chuckle. "Is that the first time you're not waltzing around and calling me 'darling'?" was all he could think of saying in his pain-induced fog.

Eames stared down at the bleeding pointman for a moment in utter disbelief that, that was all Arthur had gleaned from his situation. "Darling," he chuckled. "don't you know? We're on a first name basis."

* * *

><p>Present...<p>

"Aw~! That was so sweet!" Ariadne gushed. Arthur had a strange look on his face, like he didn't quite remember the incident clearly, he probably didn't, he had lost consciousness a moment after that, after all.

"Yes," Eames cleared his throat self-consciously. "well, the point of the story was that I had saved Arthur. I have no idea how it turned into some sort of romantic scene, because it was bloody as Hell!"

"Yeah, how did I get out of there?" Arthur asked in curiosity.

"Those guys thought you were dead and came after Mal and I." Cobb filled in for him. "Eames doubled back for you and we met at the drop spot." Arthur nodded at Cobb in satisfaction.

"Ah, I see."

"But, remember that other job?" Eames laughed. "What was it, again? That time in Shanghai where we..."

If looks could kill, Arthur would have been guilty of murdering Eames a hundred times over. "I will exerscise my right to shut you up, now, Eames." he interrupted rudely with a twinkle in his eye.

"What! Since when did _that _become a right!" Eames whined.

Arthur snorted. "It's _always _been a right." He smirked provocatively, silently challenging the forger to prove him wrong.

Eames's mouth fell open in an indignant gape, a protest forming on his tongue. But he rolled his eyes and swallowed it in favor of gripping the pointman in a firm headlock and messing with his neatly gelled hair. "What was that, darling? I dare you to say it again!"

"Eames...!" Arthur yelped loudly into his captor's side. "Let go of me right now!"

"Oh, make me!" Eames chortled back at him gleefully.

Their fight was cut short by Saito walking into the office. He stepped through the door, stopped midstride, took in the situation, and walked straight back out. Ariadne snickered at the flustered businessman and Cobb just sighed in sympathy. "Smartest move anyone made today." Arthur grumbled, taking Eames's distraction as the perfect opportunity to slip out of his grip.

"Prude." Eames pouted as he watched the pointman meticulously smooth out all the wrinkes on his vest, thankfully, he had taken his jacket off before work.

"Normal, Eames." Arthur shot back. "_Normal._" Ariadne giggled again when Eames turned his palms upward with a look that clearly meant 'you're saying I can't be normal?'

Arthur caught the look. "Well, your equanimity, for one, has much to be desired." he pointed out with a hint of a smile.

Eames opened his mouth, brow furrowed for a moment. "Sorry, ...what?" Now Arthur was full-out grinning, but Eames managed to stop the man before he said anything further. "You know what, darling? _Don't _make me get out a dictionary just to decypher you calling me an idiot again." For the first time today, Yusuf couldn't hold back a laugh.

Cobb was quickly losing hope in the thought that they could accomplish _some _work today. He shot one last glance back at Arthur and Eames, still bickering, and shook his head with a sigh as he gathered his jacket. Ariadne and Yusuf quickly caught on to the extractor's movements and also readied themselves for an early trip home. Arthur and Eames, quite predictably, didn't notice. They were to busy with their heated banter.

Ariadne shook her head with an affectionate chuckle at their antics. "Boys will be boys, won't they, Cobb?"

* * *

><p>Arthur let out a tired chuckle as he and Eames made their way to the parking lot where they had left their cars. They were half leaning on each other, too exhausted from arguing and the startling bouts of laughter that ensued from their shared anecdotes.<p>

Eames looked down at Arthur, tucked snugly into the crook of his shoulder, almost as if noticing him for the first time. He pulled back a stray lock of hair and patted it into place, pursing his lips. "You really don't remember?" he asked.

Arthur's mirthful tremors stilled immediately, and Eames was almost sorry for opening his mouth. "You have proof of that?" Arthur pulled away from Eames's side sluggishly to unlock his car door.

"Nope." Arthur rolled his eyes at Eames's easy confession, and slid into the driver's seat. Eames glanced around, almost as though he was afraid he would be caught. Then he clambered clumsily into the front passenger seat.

They sat there for a while, not saying anything. There always seemed to be something hanging from both their tongues but they didn't speak. Unsurprisingly, it was Eames who broke the silence first. "You know what?"

Arthur was quiet for a moment, and then he rolled his eyes when he realized Eames was actually waiting for a response to his rhetorical question. "No, Eames, I don't."

"I think we should start all over again." He shifted in his seat and extended his right hand to Arthur. "Hi, I'm Eames, and I'm completely infatuated with you."

Arthur snorted, but took Eames's hand, giving it an experimental shake. "You'll scare alot of women off with a confession like that." He smiled and introduced himself. "Arthur."

"Women arn't exactly my problem anymore." Eames chuckled when a slight pink found its way into Arthur's ears.

"Ariadne will have words to say to you, Eames." Arthur warned playfully.

"I can fret about that later." Eames shrugged his shoulders carelessly. "But, now that we're on a first name basis. How about dinner tonight?" he suggested.

Arthur smiled at him. "Denied." He practically melted at Eames's kicked puppy look but didn't show it. He let Eames hang for a moment before chuckling at him. "Sorry, I'm joking."

Eames had the sense of mind to at least look a little upset at being fooled. He pouted childishly, puffing out his cheeks. "You should be glad that you were! I wouldn't have let you go home even if you had loads of your precious work!"

"Right, right." Arthur was quick to placate Eames. "Your treat, though."

The End


End file.
